Thursday, June 9, 2011


Pretty As You Please

Pretty As You Please (adj.): Say you are smitten with Rosco, but turn him down when he asks you to supper, because Hestersue tells you you've pegged the wrong man, turns out he's the bastard of incest—his mom with his uncle—& he's light in the loafers, besides. She's not sure, but hears he's got mono & VD—a penis the size of a thumbtack, all hat & no cattle, & he don't believe in Lord Jesus—I'll swan. She's seen him drink milk out the carton, a bad egg—he says the c-word, cheats his own grandma at blackjack, once tied a cat by the tail to a laundry line, eats pig's feet, & smells like a dead man nailed to a skunk—mercy. Then when you're night fishing the Mississippi & catching a bucket of nothing, lonely as a single barge weeping its rust in the water—you see them—on the bridge above you, hair slick as frog's skin & glittering from skinny-dipping—as in buck naked & necking—& suddenly the moon is an empty jar of mayo. It's how Hester is when you see her, working her smile. See also: Got drunk & chucked the newlyweds' wedding cake in the beer fountain.

-Jane Springer

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